Imaginary bikes are invariably works of perfection; things of beauty handcrafted by time-served masters of imagination.

They always weigh loads lighter than any other bike at the coffee stop and they're usually the 'sickest'  thing ever seen down at the local hipster hangout.  They'll always have the coolest, patina-enhanced paintjob and naturally, will be kitted out in the 'trickest'  parts.

IB's  plane over hill tops like a bird in flight; descend like a meteor plummeting to Earth.

Riding an IB is effortless, and comfort is guaranteed.

Of course, you can bet your dream bike will be a perfect fit and the 'geometry' will always be 'dialled-in'.

Which means you'll get handling that'll be twitchy when you want it to be, yet responsive when needed...and whoa, it'll ride just like it was on rails!

You can ride it whether storming over Pyrennean cols, bounding at breakneck speed over giant redwood stumps or flipping 360's in a half-pipe.

 As for stiffness .... well, if it ain't stiff, it ain't worth a fork.

Imaginary bikes are 40-a-day-Viagra-habit  stiff.  Which is just as well really, because chances are, your imaginary bike is gonna get you laid. 

Moreover, having been bred for its skills and magic, your IB automatically shape-shifts to conform to all existing and future UCI regulations.   Yet you'll still be able to pull the biggest ever back-wheel skid - tearing up the blacktop all the way up to those glittering disco doors.

Head right on up to the top of the A-list, baby ... your VIP pass awaits!

But , hang on a minute;  if they're so good, how come everyone isn't riding one?

 Well, that's because despite the huge numbers of imaginary framebuilders populating the Internet building their mindbending, one-of-a-kind bikes, there's always a five-year waiting list for one. These aren't just bikes for anyone; these are special bikes fulfilling special needs.

So, with that in mind, the easiest way to get hold of an imaginary bike is to make your own. 

There are forums out there full of people building their own imaginary bikes, using techniques only imagined in the pages of '50's comic books. Then there are the websites specializing in photo-strips full of visual aids to help you imagine the best way to go about building your dream ride.

All your techniques will be proven and reliable, because imaginary experience is way more dependable than the real stuff.

But remember - there's no better substitute for experience than having exhaustive, in-depth conversations with yourself.   While away the hours on an inner dialogue discussing how cool your bike will look, how well it'll ride, and how darn stiff-yet-comfortable for a dilithium-tubed frame it'll be.    Chances are, it'll turn out just as you always imagined it  would.

In the real world, when you step into the unknown, the unknown happens.  

So avoid the pitfalls of modern life by living in your own, access-all-areas workshop of dreams.

Before you know it, you'll be seeing that special bike propped up right in front of you, leaning against your bedroom wall.

Even if no one else can see it, you can still feel proud of your achievements - because, after all, it's not everyone who has your imagination!